Christ is my foundation, but you all are my walls and windows. And I don’t want to let you go if you don’t want to be let go.
The ironic part about this letter is that as I am writing it, I’m sitting on my couch at “home.” This is where I was raised. I’m not sure it’s home anymore, in fact I’m not sure where my home is. I’m welcomed here, and I’m welcomed at school, and I’m welcomed in different cities almost every weekend during school, but I’m not sure what to call “home” these days. So disregarding “home” as a set place, for the purposes of this post, “home” refers to the friends and family I left behind when I went off to college. This letter is for all of you.
When I left for Liberty back in August, I didn’t expect to be missed. I mean, I hoped to be held fondly in memory, but I expected that as time went on my footprints would be covered by the settling dust of change. I’m still not convinced that this is false. But after returning home four months later for winter break I realized that dust doesn’t settle quite as quickly as I had expected.
Upon my return, you all greeted me so warmly, as if I had never left. One thing I heard repeatedly from you was along the lines of, “You must be having so much fun! I’ve been keeping up with you through facebook and instagram!” And I realized something: I never considered that any of you would really want to keep up with my life beyond what I do with music. Maybe you don’t, and I’m reading it all wrong. But if you do, then here’s what else I know: I want to take you all with me. I never wanted any of you to become a part of my past, I just assumed that would occur naturally when I left home.
I’ve realized that it doesn’t have to work that way.
I didn’t want to annoy the world of my past by clinging, but I now see that being miles away and no longer holding the same position in your lives does not resign me to separation. And so I apologize for not reaching out to you more. I want to remain connected with and further connect with each of you, because you have never ceased to show me love and support.
In this day and age, there’s no excuse for me to only allow you small glimpses of the good bits of my life in pictures and 140-characters-or-less. I can do better. I’m going to make use of this blog as I should have been all along to share my thoughts and my cares and my life with you. I also want to know what is going on in each of your lives and thoughts and how I can be praying for you, so please know that I’m always available to you via social media. I love you all so much. You helped to build me. Christ is my foundation, but you all are my walls and windows. And I don’t want to let you go if you don’t want to be let go.
Thank you, dear friends and family, for all of your continued love and support. You all mean the world to me!
Talk to you soon,